Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Speed bumps have recently been placed on one of the streets close to where I work. Driving back from lunch yesterday, I turned to my friend Gonzo and said, “What’s the point of these things? Anyone who wants to speed will speed, whether or not these things are here. Watch.” I accelerated and slowed down just as I went over the speed bump. I repeated the feast two more times. Gonzo just sat there in complete annoyance, wondering how it was possible that on the one time he mistakenly failed to make a complete stop at the stop sign there was a cop there to ticket him, yet there wasn’t one around for me now that I was openly defying authority. I looked in my rearview window just as I went over the last speed bump, and I could not help but laugh at myself — there was a black and white right behind me.

I made a right turn and stopped the car. I still had the keys in the ignition when the siren went off. The officer approached us and asked for the usual things. As I looked for the items he requested, I asked if it would be okay for us to move to the next street, because students were having recess and many of them would recognize me. The cop said that I needed to remain where I was.

I picked up a bunch of insurance cards and gave him a random one. “This one’s expired,” he said. I responded, “Well, yes, but I’m sure you have the capability to check your computer and determine if I have an active policy with the company named on the card.” He retorted, “If we could do that, we wouldn’t ask you for proof of insurance,” and handed me the card back. After a little more shuffling I found a current card and handed it to the officer. He walked to his patrol car and that’s when I turned my eyes to Gonzo…

I had never seen Gonzo so satisfied. Now more than ever he was convinced that there was a God, and that this God loved him. Although it was a day late, I said to him, “Happy birthday!” Seeing him happy, even at my expense, was worth the cost of the ticket. Specially keeping in mind that when he got his ticket a few months before, I was riding in the car with him and I was the one laughing at him. Karma had bitten me in the ass. It was his time of glory, and I was not going to rain in his parade.

We heard a siren in the distance, and Gonzo had a feeling it would ruin everything and get me out of my situation. I laughed, thinking how funny it would be if that was the case. But alas, it wasn’t. In fact, the situation got even more enjoyable for Gonzo ’cause we spotted our boss (school principal) walking our way. It seemed to Gonzo that everything was falling into place. Happy belated birthday, indeed!

Our boss said something across the street, but we’re not exactly sure what it was. Hoping I would annoy the officer, I screamed across the street, “I got a speeding ticket ’cause I couldn’t wait to see you.” We exchanged a few more words and then she walked away.

The officer finally made his way back to the side of my car. He handed me a piece of paper and said, “I’m giving you a warning about the speeding, but you have to fix that crack on your windshield.” Heh, good times.

As we walked inside the school, we came across our boss. I told her the whole story of the ticket and then she said, “You have made two mistakes today.” Thinking I knew what she was talking about, I said, “What? Getting in trouble and then telling you about it?” She said, “No. Speeding and going to Subway without letting me know. That’s one of my favorite places!” Heh.

I guess Gonzo has no choice but to continue hating me just a little longer. 🙂

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