You know you're ghetto if...

you can never keep a phone, cell, or pager number for more than a month.

you have gotten phone service, electricity or cable in a dead relative's name.

COPS is "shot on location" in your neighborhood on a regular basis.

you claim other peoples kids on your income tax.

you can outrun a police dog.

you put your phone bill in your baby's name.

more than five people owe you child support.

you have to chain up your bike inside of your house.

your child can spell better than you.

you go to pick up your welfare check and your grandma asks if you can get hers, too.

your grandmother is 36 and she is always saying, "I ain't keepin' that baby, i'm going out tonight!"

your baby's daddy is in jail when you give birth.

you holla at somebody through the bus' window at a red light.

you have BBQs on your front yard.

you go to the cemetery and pour out a little liquor for your dead homie.

you think going to prison is "keeping it real."

you yell "Pookie" in your house and five people turn around.

you took the batteries out of the smoke detector to put them in your pager.

you've been a guest on Ricky Lake, Jerry Springer, or any other tasteless daytime talk show.

your baby brother passes you up in school.

you ever took a bus to a nightclub.

you've ever been beaten by your momma with an extension cord.

you rob your neighbor's house.

the offering plate at your church goes around five times.

you only have money for 2 rims, and you put both on the driver's side.

you have trouble spelling your children's names, yet you're the one who named them.

the person you're speaking to doesn't speak any english and you just talk louder.

you skip your rent to buy the new jordans.

you still wear anything that says "whoop there it is!"

you have a fur coat and you ride the bus.

you use black eye liner to line your lips.

you use abortion as a form of birth control.

you have considered getting a gold tooth.

you turn down a marriage proposal but accept the engagement ring.

you keep food stamps in a money clip.

you've been married 3 times and you still have the same inlaws.

your mom does your hair in the kitchen.

your mama whipped you and your friends when you were little.

the teacher always blames you when something happens to be lost or stolen!

you only go shopping on the first of the month.

you think jury duty is a good way to make money.

you use-up all the minutes on your calling card and try to make up new numbers.

you stay unemployed to avoid paying child support.

you watch jerry springer and see somebody you used to date.

you couldn't go out on Friday because you had to go to an "intervention" for your uncle Ray-Ray.