Sunday, November 7, 2004

My buddy Nicole from Maine cares so much for me that she has hooked me up with a glossary of terms (and their meanings) used by women when writing personal ads:

40-ish: 49
Athletic: No Tits
Average looking: Ugly
Beautiful: Pathological Liar
Contagious Smile: Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure: On Medication
Feminist: Fat
Friendship First: Former Slut
New-Age: Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned: No BJs
Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing
Voluptuous: Very Fat
Large Frame: Hugely Fat
Wants Soul Mate: Stalker

Fellas, watch out!

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