Monday, January 15, 2007

I was going through old stuff and I found something I wrote in November of 2002. That was before I started blogging about music. Below the message were the lyrics to Alma Mia, a song by Julio Jaramillo.

I’m a drunk. But I’m a drunk not because I drink, but because of the way I think. I think like a drunk. I sit and listen to Julio Jaramillo speak of the cruelty of love, and it gets to me. I picture myself smashing my glass of wine against the table, yet my alcohol intake has never gone beyond the sip of beer I had as a kid.

As a kid, I recall that my mother would play the Julio Jaramillo songs, and although I knew nothing about love, for I was only 11 or 12, I showed an appreciation for his songs. I remember asking Maqui, one of our neighbors, if I could borrow her Julio Jaramillo CD. She must have been perplexed. “What would a kid want with Julio Jaramillo’s music?” Fact is, his voice, complemented with the sounds emanating from a guitar proved too much for me to ignore.

It was a couple of years later that I learned Julio had been a drunk himself. In fact, Julio died a drunk. He was a drunk who sang of love. The lyrics to his songs express my sorrow. If he indeed felt what his songs manifested, I can see why he was drunk… why he died one… the pain that comes with the end of a relationship is inmense.

Posted by at 11:36 am [Permalink]

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Greg signed my guestbook, and at the same time that he expressed gratitude for my work, he also expressed his disappointment for my omission of “Nuestro Juramento,” the song that rose Julio Jaramillo to fame. “Nuestro Juramento” is actually one of my favorite songs by Julio Jaramillo. It was only a matter of time before I featured it in my site, and that time has come…

Translation:

I can’t bear seeing you sad. Because your sorrow becomes my own, I plead that you cease to question my love for you. Don’t be oblivious to the fact that we are bound together by a commitment.

If I die before you do, every tear you shed is to fall over my grave so that the whole world comes to know I was loved by you. If you pass away before I do, I am to write the story of our love — using as ink the blood discharged by my agonizing heart. This is all part of a covenant between you and me, the foundation of which is our promise to love each other for as long as we live, as well as beyond our death.

Nuestro Juramento (Julio Jaramillo)
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No puedo verte triste porque me mata
tu carita de pena, mi dulce amor.
Me duele tanto el llanto que tú derramas
que se llena de angustia mi corazón.

Yo sufro lo indecible si tú entristeces;
no quiero que la duda te haga llorar.
Hemos jurado amarnos hasta la muerte
y si los muertos aman, después de muertos amarnos más.

Si yo muero primero es tu promesa
sobre de mi cadaver dejar caer
todo el llanto que brote de tu tristeza
y que todos se enteren de tu querer.

Si tu mueres primero yo te prometo
que escribiré la historia de nuestro amor
con toda el alma llena de sentimiento
la escribiré con sangre, con tinta-sangre del corazón.

Posted by at 10:55 pm [Permalink]

Sunday, August 7, 2005

Translation:

Life is one blow after another; one is left with no choice but to roll with the punches. When a man loses the woman he adores, however, his pain becomes unbearable to the point of begging his lord for a merciful death. Unlike such a man, I would not to allow my sorrow to live past your last thoughts of me. Right now you’re mine, and you’re all I have, but the instant our bond is broken I will rip out my own heart to spare myself of a more tragic fate. Nothing could be worse than living a long life without you, consumed by misery one tiny bit at a time.

Alma Mía (Julio Jaramillo)
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El día que me olvides, alma mía
yo sé que existirás en mi penar.
Al verme solo, triste, y olvidado,
mi vida la haría arrancar.
Mi vida la haría arrancar.

Hay cosas que se reciben con resignación.
Hay golpes que el destino da sin compasión.
Pero cuando se pierde un cariño
no hay nadie que calme este dolor.
No hay nadie que calme este dolor.

Fuiste tú todo mi ser,
mi amor todo te entregué,
y el amor que te profeso
es el más puro, mujer.
Si los lazos que nos unen
se llegaran a romper,
que se acabe ahorita mismo
la existencia de mi ser.

Posted by at 9:17 pm [Permalink]

Monday, July 25, 2005

A son/daughter of Julio Jaramillo dropped by my guestbook to thank me for showcasing him on my site. Long live the music of El Ruiseñor de América.

Translation:

A paranoia-induced jealousy has come to possess my being and poison my soul. Hazy thoughts and skepticism are the result. I feel that I’m a victim of deceit, but I’ve heard nothing and seen less. Damned be this cruel uncertainty that afflicts my heart. I beg for your confirmation or refutation of my apprehension. Don’t hold back… a dagger through the heart is preferable to having to live another instant questioning your love and faithfulness toward me.

Interrogación (Julio Jaramillo)
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Ya no creo en nada
hasta dudo de ti.
Siento desconfianza
ya no creo ni en mí.

Mi mente se ofusca.
Ya no sé que decir.
Enloquecen los celos
que yo siento por ti.

Maldita sean los celos que envenenan mi alma.
Maldita sea la duda que acabó mi ser.

La cruel incertidumbre de tu amor me mata.
Me estoy volviendo loco sin saber por que.

Yo no sé por que será…
(yo no sé)
que no pierdo la razón…
(lejos de ti)
Será por que hallé en tu amor
alguna interrogación?

Dime, dime la verdad…
(y por favor)
Desengáñame mejor…
(lo quiero así)
Que yo prefiero un puñal…
a la duda de tu amor.

Posted by at 9:32 pm [Permalink]

Sunday, May 8, 2005

I dislike hearing people say, “Mother, thanks for giving me life.” Conception and pregnancy are only the beginning of the lifelong struggles that a mother must face. Instead, a mother should be infinitely thanked for what she does postpartum and beyond, for it is at that time when a “mother” truly becomes a mother.

I wish a happy 10 de Mayo to all mothers like my own; mothers who are willing to devote a great part of their life to ensure the well being of those they give birth to.

Translation:

Driven mad by love, I became distant with you and I hurt you in the process. Your lips came to taste the tears shed by your own eyes. With the intent of making things right, I ask that you please allow me back by your side. I want to heal the injury my acts inflicted, and as soon as I succeed, I’ll ask that you, again, honor me with your blessings.

Life experiences have taught me that a mother should never be displaced from a man’s heart. Forgive me, mother, for not realizing this sooner. Never again will I allow anyone to stand between us.

Para Ti Madrecita (Julio Jaramillo)
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Loco por un amor
me alejé de tu lado;
madrecita querida
cuanto te hice sufrir.

Todo el sabor de lágrimas
probastes en tu labios.
de tus ojos que vertieron
por darme mi existir.

Yo quiero que no sufras
yo quiero que no llores
y que en tus oraciones
me des tu bendición.

Quiero estar a tu lado
madrecita de mi vida
y que tu honda herida,
te pueda calmar.

Yo sé que en este mundo
hay una sola madre
y no hay quien la compare
en su noble misión.

Posted by at 9:58 pm [Permalink]

Sunday, May 1, 2005

Translation:

I had been roaming the world on the verge of hopelessness. I was becoming convinced that love was a thing to be hidden away in the vault most commonly known as the past. However, when you entered my life I sensed in your eyes and voice a warm promise. I was brought out of my twilight like dusk is brought off the sea in the wee hours of a new, radiant day. Our hands came together and my heart was given life. I believed again in the beauty of fate, all thanks to you, my miraculous glass doll.

Muñequita de Cristal (Julio Jaramillo)
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Llegaste como un rayo deslumbrante de luz.
Yo andaba por el mundo sin amor ni quietud.
Mis ansias ya se habían refugiado
entre las ruinas de mi pasado.

Traías en tus ojos, tus labios, tu voz
la cálida promesa de un destino mejor.
Tus manos y mis manos se encontraron
y nuevamente palpitó mi corazón.

Tú…
con la magia de tu amor y tu bondad;
Tú…
me enseñaste a sonreir y a perdonar.

Ves…
yo era un grito de rencor
en el trágico final
de mi desesperación.

Ves…
todo aquello se esfumó
como brumas en el mar
al llegar la luz del sol…

Tú…
milagrosa muñequita de cristal…
Tú…
me enseñaste a sonreir y a perdonar.

Posted by at 6:03 am [Permalink]

Monday, December 20, 2004

Translation: La Cama Vacía

Resting at the gloomy hospital where he had been interned, agonizing in his somber bed and surrounded by a silence only expected in cemeteries, expressing himself in the tenderly way that (whether with or without effort) had always characterized him, a sick friend wrote me the following words:

My dear friend, I wish that upon your receipt of this letter you find yourself in good health and that the best of luck is with you wherever you may be. Myself, I can’t say that I’m feeling better because to the contrary, I’m nothing but a skeleton that horrifies its own bearer.

This letter is to request that if you’re ever able to come and keep me company to please do so. I come to you with this plead, for you were the one who ever showed the strongest feelings for me. I’m sad and lonely, and I cry incessantly. I feel unloved; everyone seems indifferent to me. I thought I had many friends, but none have stopped by to see me.

I must say that I finally have come to agree with you. I see that in my time of need all so called friendships are nothing but illusory. When one’s in good health and fortune, one’s got an infinite number of friends. However, if fate is so cruel so as to place one in an abysm, we come to realize that it’s all a farse… there’s no such thing as a loyal friend.

Having said that, I bid you farewell. Receive a loving hug from me, the friend who has always cared for you. Say hello to your mother for me. Show her a lot of love and overwhelm her with tender words. Take good care of her, for not all of us are as lucky as you are in still having a mother. If only you knew what it’s like to have to live without one!

When Sunday came, I hurriedly made my way into the hospital where my sick friend had been receiving care. I headed to the room where I knew he had been staying. Once in his room, I looked around and I was overtaken to see his bed… but not him.

Posted by at 9:05 pm [Permalink]

Sunday, October 31, 2004

Translation:

If I walk away from you, I do it only because I’ve come to understand that I’m in your life the dark cloud that foreshadows precipitation. I must walk away so that you stand a chance of bettering your life. Go on to lead a happy life. In the meantime I’ll try to suppress all memories of you. I must return to being the disappointed man who seeks the love of a woman in spite of previous bad experiences. The blue sky — where dreams once had their home — has vanished. Desolation has returned to me. I’m disillusioned.

Nube Gris (Julio Jaramillo)
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(1)
Si me alejo de ti es porque he comprendido
que soy la nube gris que nubla tu camino.
Me voy para dejar que cambies tu destino
que seas muy feliz mientras yo busco olvido.

(1)

(2)
Y otra vez volveré a ser el errante trovador
que va en busca del amor; del amor de una mujer.
Se perdió el celaje azul donde brillaba la ilusión.
Vuelve la desolación vivo sin luz.

(2), (2), (2)

Posted by at 9:25 am [Permalink]

Friday, August 13, 2004

Translation:

To this day your voice haunts me and the warmth of your kisses is still felt. I carry you very deep within because of how beautiful you made life for me at one point. Nonetheless, knowing that another man is now able to kiss you, my chest is filled with rage and rancor.

Love and hate is what I feel for you. A love resulting from the beautiful moments we spent together. A hatred that came about when you broke my heart. I hate you and I love you because you’re who made of life a miracle and a disappointment. You’re loved and scorned by me. Both to a full extent.

Wanting to rid my mind of you, I sought in bottles of wine the cure to broken-heartedness. In addition, I sought in other lips the fire that would dissipate the warmth that your lips left behind. It’s a lost cause, though. Neither alcohol nor kisses are to detach you from me. I’m to carry you within for hatred… for love… forever.

Te Odio Y Te Quiero (Julio Jaramillo)
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(1)
Me muerdo los labios para no llamarte.
Me queman tus besos, me sigue tu voz.
Pensando que hay otro que pueda besarte
se llena mi pecho de rabia y rencor.

(2)
Prendida en la fiebre brutal de mi sangre,
te llevo muy dentro, muy dentro de mí.
Te niego y te busco, te odio y te quiero
y tengo en el pecho un infierno por ti.

(3)
Te odio y te quiero porque a ti te debo
mis horas amargas, mis horas de miel.
Te odio y te quiero, fuiste el milagro,
la espina que duele y el beso de amor.
Por eso te odio, por eso te quiero
con toda la fuerza de mi corazón.

(4)
No quiero nombrarte y busco en las copas
el vino de olvido que nunca se da.
Pensando arrancarte busqué en otras bocas
el fuego que borre tu beso inmortal.

(5)
Y todo es inútil, ni copas ni besos
pueden separarte, separarte de mi.
Te llevo en mi sangre, te odio y te quiero,
y tengo en el pecho un infierno por ti.

(3)…

Posted by at 9:42 pm [Permalink]

Saturday, June 5, 2004

Translation:

Tonight I crave her presence. I’m willing to forgive her for all the pain she inflicted on me, if only she’d return to me. I wouldn’t care what people would say of this. Why should I care? People never cease to say things.

Mine is a self-devouring passion, as she’s all I ever think of. Yet, she does not even suspect that I want her back. This heart of mine names her with its wounded lips. At night, my pain becomes stronger, for a pain-inducing butterfly passes in front of me, further deepening my wounds.

Because I’m surrounded by my friends, tonight should be a jolly night, but I can’t cope with my pain. Finding myself lonely, aware that she’s not to be with me anymore, I ask incessantly…

What have you given me, darling? I’m sad day and night. I spend my nights roaming your neighborhood, passing in front of your house, always staring at it. This passion that is killing me and the pain that I cannot overcome leads me to ask, “When will I stop having to endure the torment that is having loved you and lost you?”

Rondando tu Esquina (Julio Jaramillo)
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Esta noche tengo ganas de tocarla,
de borrar lo que ha pasado y perdonarla,
ya no me importa el qué dirán ni de las cosas que hablarán,
total la gente siempre habla.

Yo no pienso más que en ella a toda hora,
es terrible esta pasión devoradora;
y ella siempre sin saber,
sin siquiera sospechar,
mis deseos de volver.

Qué me has dado, vida mía,
que ando triste noche y día,
rondando siempre tu esquina,
mirando siempre tu casa.

Y esta pasión que lastima,
y este dolor que no pasa.
Hasta cuándo iré sufriendo
el tormento de tu amor.

Este pobre corazón que no la olvida
me la nombra con los labios de su herida,
y ahondando más su sinsabor,
la mariposa del dolor cruza en la noche de mi vida.

Compañeros hoy es noche de verbena,
sin embargo ya no puedo con mi pena,
y al saber que ya no está,
solo y triste sin tu amor,
me pregunto, sin cesar.

Qué me has dado, vida mía,
que ando triste noche y día,
rondando siempre tu esquina,
mirando siempre tu casa.

Y esta pasión que lastima,
y este dolor que no pasa.
Hasta cuándo iré sufriendo
el tormento de tu amor.

Posted by at 7:43 am [Permalink]

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