Monday, July 21, 2003

I could not contain myself, I smiled on my way to my car. Was I happy merely because I was through with it, or because I felt I had done well? It does not matter right now, because I have two more weeks before I have to do it again: 30 minutes ago I turned-in my first in-class essay exam for my English 102 course. 🙂

I’m concerned, though. What if this gayness turns out to be unwarranted? What if I didn’t do well? I mean, that has happened before; me taking a test, looking forward to receiving a grade on it, only to find a grade I did not desire.

Then again, the opposite has also taken place. Several have been the occasions that I’m looking at an essay question that I must answer — a question that is worth a whole lot of points — and the only thought that crosses my mind is… “If I were to walk out of the classroom right about now, to never return, would I be thought to be too big of an idiot?” At least twice I’ve been left perplexed when shown a great score on a test that I thought wasn’t even worthy of a “D”.

But I feel good about this one. As I was doing it, I was hoping I wasn’t thinking aloud, causing my classmates to become distracted — that’s how inspired I felt! Really, I’m still wondering if my classmates heard me “thinking”… heh.

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