Wednesday, December 3, 2003

A lady was tending to her household chores when a man approached her home. Seeing him come too close, she asked in a rude tone, “What are you doing here?” The man responded, “I’d like a drink of water.” Not satisfied by his response, she asked, “Why here? Why this home?” Stubbornly, the man remained where he was. He refused to take a hint. This made him even more suspicious.

Having heard his wife talking to a stranger, the husband emerged from one of the rooms, gun in hand. He aimed at the suspect. As this took place, the couple’s daughter ran to neighbors to alert them of what was taking place. Things seemed under the control of the man of the house, and they were, until an accomplice of the intruder entered the premises. The second intruder aimed his shotgun at the homeowner’s head. Now there two intruders, and between those two intruders there were two guns, withdrawn, ready to let out a life-taking bang.

By this time the word had been spread. The little girl had done her job well. Several neighbors arrived at the scene, guns withdrawn, ready to carve a hole through they who dared disrupt their peace. The intruders would not make it out of this one alive, unless they surrendered. Seeing themselves outnumbered, that they did. Their lives were spared.

When the cops arrived, they asked for the intruder’s guns. (Yes, the first one had a gun, too.) Guns that they weren’t given. The townspeople knew better. They knew that in the hands of corrupt police officers, these guns would make it back on the streets, all for mere pesos. The men themselves would be freed, if they were to be placed under the control of these cops. So, instead, the townspeople joined the cops as they took the men and their weapons to Acapulco, a major city in the state.

Envy and greediness makes people do evil things, and in the state where I’m from (Guerrero), it leads to a high number of kidnappings. That’s what the two men had in mind. They wanted to kidnap one of the members of the man’s family — or perhaps the man himself — simply because he owns cattle. This took place during my mother’s recent trip to Mexico, a few miles away from our home.

Greediness specially preys on cops. Money determines whether or not you’ll set foot in jail for having committed a crime. Bribes work miracles. This is why the townsmen did not trust the cops. They wanted to witness their captives’ entrance into prison. It’s the only way they’d be convinced that these men would spend time behind bars… hours at least.

Another thing Mexican cops are known for is their brutality. They use it to to have prisoners admit guilt, whether or not they actually committed a crime. This reminds me of a joke…

Police agencies from three different countries arranged a contest to see which country had the best police force. The FBI (USA), KGB (Russia), and AFI (Mexico) were the representatives. The task at hand was to see who could catch a rabbit in the least amount of hours.

First was the KGB. The rabbit was set loose on a Saturday morning, and the KGB looked for it. The hours passed. By Sunday evening, the rabbit was back in captivity. It took the KGB 32 hours to trap it.

Then came the FBI. The rabbit was set free on Monday morning, and the FBI was sent after it. The next morning, the rabbit’s freedom had ended. It took the FBI only 14 hours, a whooping 18 hours less than it took the KGB!

Now it was the Mexicans’ turn. Spectators doubted that the Mexican cops would even spot the rabbit, let alone catch it. They thought that the winner had been determined. Oh, but this didn’t bring the Mexicans down. If there was one thing these cops had was confidence. A lot of it!

The rabbit was set free, and it sped away like a bullet. The Mexicans were not worried. They even dared to take a path different to that the rabbit had taken! They were koo like that, see. So very koo.

The Mexican cops returned within the hour with a big grin on their face. They had a prisoner. It was an elephant screaming, “I admit it, I admit it, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit, but please don’t hurt me anymore!”

Heh, who’s the king of cheesiness, eh? 😀

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