Saturday, December 6, 2003

A teacher brought her class to the playground yesterday in the afternoon and left. After five minutes, she still wasn’t back. At that point she was making three boo-boos. Psychomotor (physical education) was taking place, and only certain classes were to be on the playground. Hers wasn’t one of them. She also failed to consider what we had to say. She didn’t talk to any of us to ask if it would be okay for her class to be there. Then she failed to notify us that she would be leaving her class there, unsupervised.

I gathered all her students and had them sit down. When she returned, three minutes after they were all sitting down, I let her know how I felt about what she had done. In doing so, I lost my koo for a bit. I didn’t scream, but I feel that my mood was altered. I apologized to her about half an hour later, but that didn’t do much for my mood. I still felt bad for the rest of the evening.

It would have been better for me if she had acted like a bitch, but she didn’t. She didn’t get crazy. She took my words, and handled them maturely. She said she had told her kids to let me know that she was going to the restroom. They didn’t. Why didn’t she tell me herself? She had passed right by me a minute before she left.

Her degree of guilt didn’t matter to me anymore. What mattered was that I lost my koo, and I spoke to her in a way I shouldn’t have. As a result, more than 12 hours later, I’m still not feeling well. In fact, I woke up in the middle of the night reliving the incident. I bet that she partied like crazy last night (she’s in her 20s)… while I… was having trouble dealing with my conscience.

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