Friday, October 14, 2005

I thought I heard, “Wanna hang out?” Not sure of what she asked, I answered slowly and softly, “yeah.” I was writing some notes as she asked me the question, and after I said yeah she pulled out some forms that I could use to finish the task she had asked me to do. Neither of us brought it up again in the next 20 minutes that we remained in each other’s sight. Did she ask me out, or did she simply ask me “Wanna write them out?” I… don’t… know. I do know that as she had me call some parents using her cellphone, I said to her, “Sure, but first let me call myself.” She chuckled and said, “I knew you would do that!”

Hehe, as I dialed the different numbers she wanted me to call, I could not stop my recurring chuckle. I bet she wondered, “What the hell is he doing to my phone?!” Well, I was still reliving that thing I had said to her earlier — desperate needs call for desperate measures, but I wouldn’t allow her to have the impression that I was desperate. Well, and it was also funny to me that her cellphone’s screen message read, “Kevin is great!” Funny in a shit-look-at-me-getting-all-mushy-for-this-girl-who-already’s-got-a-man kinda way.

So I guess it’s okay for you to know I’m desperate. Just don’t tell her. 😀

Okay, so maybe some background knowledge wouldn’t hurt. Her name is Sasha and she’s someone I work with. She knows I find her attractive, and I can do nothing but wait until she throws me a bone before I can ask her out. I think it’d be the first time I ask someone out. I’ve gone out, but never have I said, “Hey, wanna do something together?” or other variations that are equally explicit. Things just happen.

Anyway, in the past I’d joke around with her about making her mine. She would always say — at least in the presence of a guy I think she likes — “in your dreams!” Oh, but as Urkel would have you know, “I’m wearing [her] doooooown, bey-bee!”

The other day she came out of nowhere and excitedly said to me, “You saw me on Saturday a few weeks ago?!” I said, “Well, it was a Sunday, and you should have seen my heart, shattered to pieces when I saw a guy walking with you.” She mentioned it was a friend. She seemed so ecstatic during the conversation, and damn it, I couldn’t hide my own excitement. We took a few steps together, but then I had to leave her ’cause some students needed my attention. (Man, I just couldn’t get myself to ignore those kids causing havoc!)

Then, more recently, I asked her, “Doing something special today?” This was in response to how sexy she looked. She had on a shirt I had never seen her wear. “Ah, you noticed.” Oh yeah, I noticed it was the first time she brought that shirt to work. Out of nowhere she asked my age. When I said 26, she asked when I would turn 27; it turns out I’m a little more than a month older than she is. Somehow I said, “I shouldn’t ask you about your special someone. I probably won’t want to hear about it. Oh, God, forget I even mentioned anything!” She asked, “What special someone?” Again, our conversation had to be cut short because duty called. But damn, those two mini-conversations I shared with her were one of the most exhilarating conversations I’ve had in some time. I just didn’t know what she would say next. “Will she throw me a bone?” I wondered.

Want me to describe how I feel for this particular person? I don’t wanna get her into bed. I find her attractive, mind you, but right now I genuinely enjoy talking to her. (I’m sure you have figured that much based on my highlighting two encounters that would have gone unnoticed by most people, but just humor me, no?) Those fifty steps we took together as we chatted (paragraph immediately above) made me feel I was walking over clouds; gravity did not exist. I think it’s been years since I felt that way.

Now, how do I go about getting Kevin off the map… hmm. 😉

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