Friday, May 1, 2020

For the first time ever… I shared this with another human being. I figure I’m ready to write it here.

Most nights… when I’m very tired… I fantasize about ending it all… about finally knowing the answer to the ultimate question. No human being can answer it… we all have our own opinion. Is there a God? What’s there after life? We all think we know the answer to the former… and I love the idea of having the answer to the latter.

The other day I saw my son walking away. I see he’s pretty tall… about 5’1″ if I had to guess. He will be 13 later this year. He’s still a kid. His shoulders are those of a kid, in spite of his being almost tall enough to pass as an adult Mexican. I figure he needs his dad around at least another 17 years… for whatever reason.

I lead a pretty good life. Even 1.5 months into the pandemic and without my daily dosage of soccer I know I can’t complain. I still get to go out and jog/walk. The weather is getting much better. But I can’t seem to help it… in those minutes right before I fall asleep, I wonder.

Posted by dusky at 12:46 pm [Permalink]

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